The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Monday, January 24, 2005

Common Misconceptions Of The Common American

During my travels through this superinformation superhighway that is the Internets, I've heard rumors that could easily be debunked with the proper information. Without further aldo:

Terrorists hate America because of our freedom. False. Terrorists hate you because you are rich, worship the wrong god and let women wear pants.

Other countries hate America because they're jealous of us. Totally true. America is the rich kid that is also the schoolyard bully. We all hate him, yet want to be him.

We gave a lot of money to the tsunami victims, the world is being ungrateful. False. We know the 30 million something were all taken from the pocket change Bill Gates gave various congressmen to continue being a monopoly. America is spending more than that to buy toilet paper for Iraq soldiers.

The war on Iraq had a reason. True. Hussein offended Bush's dad.

WMDs Nope. Iraq doesn't have them, Iran doesn't have them. Exactly the reason why they're being or will be attacked. Note that other countries with just as evil dictators like North Korea and (random Middle East country) are getting scot free.

But we deposed a dictator! True. The other dictators will learn to be more subtle.

The French are surrendering weenies LOL False. France is a cool country that brought us Audrey Tatou, and which has the disadvantage of not having large bodies of water between it and most countries willing to attack it. After a few Paris bombings, any country would start being anti-war.

People voted for Bush cause they're stupid. Not completely true. They also voted for Bush cause they wanted to see the smile wiped off the face of the people that break into uncontrollable laughter whenever they hear the word ' Jesus'.

I'm moving to Canada. Sorry to inform, but Canada hates you too.

I don't support the war, but I support the soldiers. Bollocks. The USA doesn't have a draft. Every soldier in the army has voluntarily signed to shoot foreigners. If you support the teary-eyed soldiers that are just doing their job, you -are- supporting the war.

I can't do anything about it. False. We won't go into further detail since the secret service may be watching and we'd like to go back to the USA to buy a DS at half price.

Friday, January 14, 2005

AMVs That We Want To See

The reader (that's you) is certainly aware of the concept of the AMV (Anime Music Video) in that one makes a videoclip with scenes from an anime and some music. Recently some VGMV (Videogame Music Videos) have surfaced, featuring fighting game characters rocking each others' faces as heavy metal plays in the background. Thusly, I list the AMVs that I have pictured in my mind, but have sadly been unable to find in the real world.

Video: End of Evangelion
Audio: R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World As We Know It
Comment: This is such a perfect match I am sure only my sub-badass search abilities have not found it.

Video: Akira
Audio: Madonna - Just A Prayer
Comment: Make best possible use of the 'When you call my name' and 'I can feel your power' bits.

Video: Legend Of The Overfiend
Audio: Men At Work - Down Under
Comment: Get it? Hahaha I crack me up.

Video: Teen Titans, Samurai Jack and the rest of the new wave of american anime
Audio: The Vapors - Turning Japanese
Comment: I am aware of the undertones of the music and would like to point that while several songs can be used for self-pleasing euphemisms, only one refers to the ever-increasing phenomenon of turning Japanese.

Video: Clips from Ninja Gaiden games
Audio: No Doubt - Just A Girl
Comment: If you do not grasp the significance of this, you do not know the history of your games. Study more and eat your vegetables.

Video: Serial Experiments Lain
Audio: Macy Gray - Oblivion
Comment: Oblivion is such a cool song that it needs to be SOMEWHERE.

Video: Evangelion - Elevator bit
Audio: John Cage - 4'33"
Comment: I once saw all of Evangelion and Serial Experiments Lain in the same weekend. It made my mind complex, like an anti-Flaming Carrot.

As usual, feel free to use the Comments box below to its maximum capability to express just how geeky the post above was.