The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

MURDER! Card Game

Card Game For 3-6 People

MURDER! is a game of crime, investigation and murder. Question your fellow players about their cards, but if you go too far you may end with blood on your hands!


  • From a standard card deck, take four number cards of the same number and two figure cards for each player, and forget the rest. You'll have six cards per player, two-thirds number cards and one-third figure cards.
  • Shuffle these cards and deal six to each person.
  • Players take turns. On your turn, you:
    1. Ask a player to reveal one to six cards from his hand, chosen by you (randomly, since you can't see the cards) or by him, as you wish. If a figure card is revealed in this way, the player is dead.
    2. Ask him for zero to six cards from his hand, chosen by you (again randomly) or by him.
    3. Give him the same number of cards from your hand, chosen by him (randomly yet again) or by you. In this way, hand size remains constant.
  • Dead characters cannot play, and their cards are removed from the game.
  • The first person to acquire four number cards with the same number wins the game. If no player can complete a set because dead players hold needed cards, it's a draw and the murderer wins.

Have fun!

    Monday, September 19, 2005

    D&D Full-Auto Instant Magic Item Generator

    Aha, here it goes. Blogspot is a bit finicky with Javascript, but click the button below for an instant random magical item!

    You open the chest and uncover...
    Click the button below!

    Sunday, September 18, 2005

    D&D Instant Magic Item Generator

    I don't know why the new edition of D&D spends more than a hundred pages just listing magical items. Here you can do the same with just one list and two 100-sided dice rolls!
    You open the chest and find...
    The (roll on list A) of (roll on list B)!

    List A
    01. Amulet
    02. Armor (Chain)
    03. Armor (Leather)
    04. Armor (Plate)
    05. Arrow
    06. Axe
    07. Bag
    08. Bands
    09. Bead
    10. Belt
    11. Book
    12. Boomerang
    13. Boots
    14. Bottle
    15. Bow
    16. Bracelets
    17. Bracers
    18. Brooch
    19. Cabinet
    20. Candle
    21. Cape
    22. Card Deck
    23. Chalice
    24. Chime
    25. Circlet
    26. Cloak
    27. Club
    28. Crossbow
    29. Cube
    30. Dart
    31. Decanter
    32. Dust
    33. Exotic Weapon
    34. Eye
    35. Fan
    36. Farm Equipment
    37. Figurine
    38. Flag
    39. Gauntlets
    40. Gem
    41. Gloves
    42. Goggles
    43. Hammer
    44. Hand
    45. Hat
    46. Headband
    47. Helmet
    48. Horn
    49. Horseshoes
    50. Incense
    51. Ioun Stone
    52. Javelin
    53. Key
    54. Knife
    55. Lantern
    56. Lenses
    57. Mace
    58. Mantle
    59. Mask
    60. Medallion
    61. Mirror
    62. Morningstar
    63. Musical Instrument
    64. Necklace
    65. Net
    66. Oil
    67. Orb
    68. Periapt
    69. Phylactery
    70. Pickaxe
    71. Pipes
    72. Polearm
    73. Potion
    74. Quiver
    75. Ring
    76. Robe
    77. Rod
    78. Rope
    79. Salve
    80. Scabbard
    81. Scarab
    82. Scythe
    83. Shield
    84. Shirt
    85. Shoes
    86. Shrouds
    87. Skull
    88. Sling
    89. Slippers
    90. Spear
    91. Spoon
    92. Staff
    93. Sword (Long)
    94. Sword (Short)
    95. Token
    96. Vest
    97. Vestment
    98. Wand
    99. Well
    00. Whip
    List B
    01. Adaptation
    02. Animal Friendship
    03. Annihilation
    04. Appearance
    05. Arrow Catching
    06. the Bat
    07. Blinking
    08. Brilliance
    09. Building
    10. Charming
    11. Climbing
    12. Cursed Backbiter
    13. Dancing
    14. Defense
    15. Detonations
    16. Devouring
    17. Disappearance
    18. Disguise
    19. Dispel Magic
    20. Displacement
    21. Dryness
    22. Elements
    23. Elvenkind
    24. Entanglement
    25. Etherealness
    26. Eyes
    27. Feather Falling
    28. Fire
    29. Flailing
    30. Flying
    31. Folding
    32. Free Action
    33. Friends
    34. Frost
    35. Ghost Touch
    36. Handiness
    37. Haste
    38. Haunting
    39. Healing
    40. Health
    41. Hypnosis
    42. Illumination
    43. Illusions
    44. Immovable
    45. Interruption
    46. Invisibility
    47. Invocation
    48. Jumping
    49. Keen Edge
    50. Leadership
    51. Lightning
    52. Lordly Might
    53. Love
    54. the Mage
    55. Many Things
    56. Many Worlds
    57. Might
    58. Nightmares
    59. Nondetection
    60. Opening
    61. Pain
    62. Panic
    63. Poison
    64. Polymorph
    65. Protection
    66. Pure Good
    67. Ram
    68. Revealing
    69. Scintillating Colors
    70. Seeing
    71. Serpent
    72. Shooting Stars
    73. Silence
    74. Size Alteration
    75. Slipperiness
    76. Slow
    77. Sounding
    78. Speed
    79. Spider Climb
    80. Stars
    81. Stoneskin
    82. Storing
    83. Swarming Insects
    84. Telekinesis
    85. Teleportation
    86. Three Wishes
    87. Tongues
    88. Tricks
    89. Truth
    90. Ultimate Evil
    91. Undead
    92. Useful Items
    93. Valhalla
    94. Water Breathing
    95. Water Walking
    96. Wind
    97. Wisdom
    98. Wonder
    99. Wound Closure
    00. X-Ray Vision

    Friday, September 16, 2005

    Story Time III

    This is actually the second story I've written in this story-writing arc, but it's sorta like the first, so it comes third. The first and last sentences come from dreams, I think. Also, I do not intend to offend the mentally deficient and whatever.

    Background Noise
    By Guilherme T.

    It used to appear only in my dreams. Now I see it every time I close my eyes. A body like a big lizard, the kind that was around when there was only one continent. Wings of black leather. And, of course, the cephalopod head. Eight squirming, slimy tentacles.
    The description really doesn’t do it justice. There’s all kinds of connotations the sight brings to the mind, just like a charging tiger brings to the mind much more than black and yellow stripes.
    Your brain gets used to it, though. After the tenth time or so. Or it doesn’t bend back, same thing.
    I look around my workplace and wonder if they see it too. They’re all doing normal stuff: working, pretending to work, talking about last night’s game and making lame jokes about the guy that decided to do things differently once in his life and come to work wearing a pink shirt. The salt of the earth, people. Humanity at its very best.
    I check the email out of boredom. Ten from spammers, three with jokes from fellow workmates and none from friends. Same old, not like I call them. Even less now that I’m crazy.
    Strange. The spam messages seem different, somehow. Not enough sexual enhancements, too many contests for trips to Cancún or Bali or whatever. Too many jokes about fish and sailors. Fixed thoughts, clearly. It’s not paranoia if everyone else is going goddamn crazy too, right?
    Right. Like any nutcase worth their salt wouldn’t think they’re normal. Work is making me crazy in the head. I’m a very sick man, I need medicine.
    I start writing a report on work done this week. When I’m done I look at the screen and realize half of what I typed is gibberish. No, not quite gibberish. You could recite it, or chant it when dancing around a fire wearing nothing but a bone headdress.
    Delete everything, clear your mind. The tentacled face in there. Damn society for not keeping us busy enough to ignore the voices in our heads. Better wait until after lunch to work.
    The line for lunch is long and slow, the fellow ahead of me choosing his food with the attention and fastidiousness of a retard. No chicken today. Only fish fillets and squid. I wasn’t hungry anyway.
    I go back to my desk. I try to type the report again and end up typing three pages of delirious chanting before shutting down the computer in anger. I must calm down. Reboot the computer and pretend to work. It’s Friday, just a few more hours and I can go home and rest and maybe meet some people that are not insane and see if their non insanity is contagious.
    Someone walks in and talks loudly with the person beside me. I wonder if I should ask them, if they have something waiting for them to sleep. Not a good question to ask in a competitive work environment. Maybe I should stop shaving, write my story in a big piece of cardboard and wear it downtown.
    I’m called for a surprise company presentation at four o’clock. Everyone is.
    Apparently, the CEO felt there was a need for a change in the company’s image to the client and such, and the marketing team had been working for a month on possible redesigns. This week they finally came up with something that earned a thumbs up from above.
    The new company logo is to be eight curved lines, emerging from a central spot, flanked by two stylized wings. It evokes images of the sun and the sky, they said. Apparently they came up with it during their sleep.
    Right. Still, nice to know I’m not crazy. The next week comes, and the week after that, still working as usual. People look a bit more strained, but the place’s quieter.
    Oh, and Friday isn’t that nice anymore. Sometimes there’s an eighth day on the week. You don’t want to know what work we do on those days.

    Thursday, September 01, 2005

    This Week In Comics

    The Flash punches a villain so hard his wife gets pregnant again.