The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Make Your Own Movie Alien

Here I present my own, tried-and-true method to create your own Movie Alien. All you need is a standard 6-sided dice and a couple of minutes.

* Type Of Movie Alien:

1 - Insectoid
2 - Insectoid
3 - Insectoid
4 - Shapeless Blob
5 - Shapeless Blob
6 - Huge Worm

* Skin Covering:

1 - Armor plates
2 - Armor plates
3 - Armor plates
4 - Armor plates
5 - Armor plates
6 - Mangy fur

* Outward Appearance:

Featureless face with nothing but a big toothed mouth. This appeals to humanity's atavic fear of big toothed mouths.

* Bizarre Alien Ability:

1 - Can take human shape
2 - Can take human shape
3 - Can take human shape
4 - Can possess humans
5 - Really cool AlienCam(tm) Vision
6 - Incubates in humans

ALL Movie Aliens can climb walls and ceilings.

* Intelligence:

1 - Swim swim hungry
2 - Animalistic but smart
3 - Feral but learns from mistakes
4 - Instinctive but patient
5 - Has no education but learns quickly
6 - All the above

* Evolved Forms:

1 - Achieve flight through intestinal gas
2 - Can take human shape
3 - Alternate Really Cool AlienCam(tm) Vision
4 - More Big Toothed Mouths
5 - Tentacles
6 - Can take human shape

* Organization

1 - Hive with queen
2 - Hive with queen
3 - Hive with queen
4 - Hive with queen
5 - Hive with queen
6 - Hive with queen

* Weakness

1 - Fire
2 - Cold
3 - Bullets
4 - Explosions
5 - Ellen Ripley
6 - None, you just have to beat it up a lot


There you have it! Make sure the main star survives for the sequel.

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