The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Epic Skillz

I'm depressed that 4th edition of D&D came out, because now I will never finish the Epic Skill Uses supplement I was working on. According to the Epic Level Handbook or whatever, someone that spent ten thousand ranks on Escape instead of something actually useful could use them to pass through tiny holes, or a wall of force, or those things DMs only throw at you when they're really pissed you defeated their dragon with a rock throw to the forehead. I merely extended the idea to all the other skills that were so woefully ignored. I leave you with a draft of what could be.


The Glare:
You can intimidate inanimate objects into doing what you want. DC 40 for things the object can do normally (doors open, wagons move), DC 60 for things the object can't do normally (browbeat a chair into hiding in a corner) or to convince a magic item into using its power.


Blastoff: For a -25 penalty to your skill, you may jump without moving any muscle - even when tied up or lying down. This includes the -18 penalty for not enough running speed.

Double Jump:
You can jump again while in midair. You have a penalty of -20 to your skill for each extra jump. You're considered to keep the original speed you had when you left the ground for DC purposes, but you can change directions with each jump.

Move Silently

You can prevent someone else from making noise. DC as usual, plus 10 per extra person, plus target's level + Reflex if they're actively resisting the effect.

Make Noise Silently: You can perform an action that explicitely generates noise (such as ringing a bell or shouting) without unintended parties hearing it. DC 40 for speech-level noise, DC 60 for loud stuff.

Use Magic Device

MacGyver: You can use a magical item as another item of the same type and equal or lower cost. DC 50 for 25% efficiency (uses four times as many charges, lasts a quarter of the time), DC 75 for half efficiency.

Trap Setting: This lets a character set a magic item to trigger, once, by a physical act of some kind (like a door opening or being stepped on) DC 40.


This was to be the meat of the book. Turn a rock into a delicious dessert, Cooking at DC 50. A Leatherworking roll at DC 60 would let you tan and prepare a hide without removing it from the animal. Roll Stoneworking at DC 80 to make a harmless statue out of a rock a giant's throwing at you.

And so on.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

I Dreamed This One Too

Account Cloning
by Zaratustra

I woke with ten thousand bells inside my head. Four AM. The phone must have turned itself back on with something I said. Cursed first-gen.

"Hello," I subvocalized, still groggy.

"Mick, for god's sakes, I've been trying to get to you all day."

"W... Who is this?"

"It's Jane, Mick. I need your help!"

"... what Jane?"

"'Slept with each other for three years' Jane! Wake up, Mick!"

"OK, OK. I'm awake. What's wrong?"

"Remember the injections we took? You said they'd protect us from all the cloning crimes that have been going on--"

"Yes, the gene locks. So people can't take your cells and use the genes to unlock your bank account."

"Mick, someone did get to my bank account."


"Mick, I saw her leaving the bank. She looked just like me."

"That's not possible."

"Mick, there's someone that looks just like me and that someone stole four thousand off my account."

"So... someone cloned you, actually cloned you whole, just so they could get some money off your savings?"

"I don't know what they did or why they did it, Mick! That's what I saw and I need your help! The cops don't believe me! Nobody believes me!"

"OK, calm down. I believe you."

"God, Mick, I think I saw her around daycare. If she wants to steal my son--"

"Jane, calm down. Lock the doors and windows, I'll be there in the morning."

"Mick, couldn't you come now? This is--"

"I'll get some things done, first. Things that will help you. Do you trust me?""

"-- OK. Be here at eight?"

"I promise. T.R.Off."

The phone turned itself off.

I looked at the sleeping woman beside me.



"I'm glad we got back together, but I think we have to discuss our relationship."