The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Monday, January 24, 2005

Common Misconceptions Of The Common American

During my travels through this superinformation superhighway that is the Internets, I've heard rumors that could easily be debunked with the proper information. Without further aldo:

Terrorists hate America because of our freedom. False. Terrorists hate you because you are rich, worship the wrong god and let women wear pants.

Other countries hate America because they're jealous of us. Totally true. America is the rich kid that is also the schoolyard bully. We all hate him, yet want to be him.

We gave a lot of money to the tsunami victims, the world is being ungrateful. False. We know the 30 million something were all taken from the pocket change Bill Gates gave various congressmen to continue being a monopoly. America is spending more than that to buy toilet paper for Iraq soldiers.

The war on Iraq had a reason. True. Hussein offended Bush's dad.

WMDs Nope. Iraq doesn't have them, Iran doesn't have them. Exactly the reason why they're being or will be attacked. Note that other countries with just as evil dictators like North Korea and (random Middle East country) are getting scot free.

But we deposed a dictator! True. The other dictators will learn to be more subtle.

The French are surrendering weenies LOL False. France is a cool country that brought us Audrey Tatou, and which has the disadvantage of not having large bodies of water between it and most countries willing to attack it. After a few Paris bombings, any country would start being anti-war.

People voted for Bush cause they're stupid. Not completely true. They also voted for Bush cause they wanted to see the smile wiped off the face of the people that break into uncontrollable laughter whenever they hear the word ' Jesus'.

I'm moving to Canada. Sorry to inform, but Canada hates you too.

I don't support the war, but I support the soldiers. Bollocks. The USA doesn't have a draft. Every soldier in the army has voluntarily signed to shoot foreigners. If you support the teary-eyed soldiers that are just doing their job, you -are- supporting the war.

I can't do anything about it. False. We won't go into further detail since the secret service may be watching and we'd like to go back to the USA to buy a DS at half price.



2 Comments:

  • "I don't support the war, but I support the soldiers. Bollocks. The USA doesn't have a draft. Every soldier in the army has voluntarily signed to shoot foreigners. If you support the teary-eyed soldiers that are just doing their job, you -are- supporting the war."


    You know better than this, Zara. Not every soldier signed up to be pushed into an illegal war so they could be shot at everyday with no armor and low pay. See, when I say support the soldiers, I mean, I support them getting a big raise and coming home. Yet I don't support the war they're a part of.

    - SoulBain

    By Blogger AGGREGATE DEMAND, at 1/28/2005 10:30 AM  

  • True. However, when you enlist as a soldier, you're enlisting to be the physical force of the government and do its will, no matter what it is. I was probably too mean in my remark, but eh, it's what blogging is all about.

    By Blogger Zaratustra, at 2/03/2005 2:01 PM  

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