The Unbearable Awesomeness Of Being

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A REAL Justice League Of America

I swore I'd not post about comics anymore, but I had this idea. After Newsarama disclosed the Great Ten and boards across the Internets have been complaining of the stereotypical and sexist characters (A woman that gives birth once every three days certainly is sexist. Why isn't it a MAN that gives birth every three days? Eh?). An embrionary idea for a similar american team was conceived, and yours truly combined it with a couple of ideas he pulled out of his rear end and created the one and only Uncle Sam And The Samaritans!

Uncle Sam, with the power to incide rampant patriotism and look good in photo-ops, is the field leader. He also makes enemy detecting much easier: You're either for him or against him!

Statesman, second in command, has powers granted to him by all 50 States - Greatness from Texas, invisibility from Wyoming, and so on. Unfortunately, he gets his driving skills from Florida. (did you see what I did there)

Paul Bunyan, giant lumberjack with an axe that can cleave through the very atoms of matter and generate small explosions. With him is his blue ox, Babe, an extradimensional creature of great strength.

John Henry Irons battles with twin hammers and his magical power of being better at anything than machines. Smarter than a computer, faster than an automobile!

Johnny Appleseed suffered a horrible accident and is now a half-man, half-apple-tree person. He fights crime with his awesome and terrible powers of plant generation and control.

The Nuclear Array is sworn never to use his powers, but he must remain in the team so as to guarantee its strength against the enemy.

On reserve, Lady Liberty, the Founding Father and the Preemptive Striker. As guest member, Jesus (Who claims to be on the side of the Americans, but is often seen fighting with other national squads and even soccer teams)


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